By: John C.
Hey, this is John, Commander of the New Model army water gun clan in Woodmere, NY. We had a practice today to warm up the team for the large 3-way fight planned for tomorrow. Only 3 men from our team (one of them was actually a defect from the other team, but he was loyal to me and was well armed) were there as this was not planned. We moved out gingerly, but in soldierly good spirits.
The other team outnumbered us by a man, but preponderation did not matter as all three of us were seasoned veterans. The other team boasted only 2 men which could be counted on to any extent to fight us back or kill (drench) us. Robert, quite threatening once seen donning his CPS2000, was an excellent shot and a capable fighter, but lacked the prescience and punctual thought of a good leader. Jon, their co-leader, had no good weapon to boast and commanded his men to the extent of limp charges against opponents who had run out of water. I cannot stress enough the firm discipline of our team compared to the green ineptitude of the enemies who had no name and no flag to rally under.
We had a pair of uneventful fights (There were actually preliminary three fights. However, on the second one, I pointed out earnestly that after the teams had been evened 2-2, it would end in a blood bath in which someone would lie about being hit. That was never fun as we are strict in our one-shot disqualification rules).
On the third fight, I ordered a dangerous maneuver, but one which would be looked upon as a wise and appropriately risky attack. The orders: Move in a line to the white picket fence outside the enemy house, clear it, and charge yelling out battle cries "over the top" (My battle cry, which my team wass adopting, is the infamous "ANZAC coooooooo-eeeeeeeeee!"). We made the fence without event and I gave the war cry. The one enemy which had been sniping at us from an impossible distance, fell back in fear through the diffuse bushes while we vehemently broke the back of the enemy by rushing down their middle. It was over quickly, owing to our quick move to gain the high ground of the enemy porch and secure the hose (mowing down a man diving for it). We chased one man around, cornered him, and waited for one of our assault team heavies (who had gone back to field base about an 1/8 of a mile away) to surprise his rear flank.
I hoped this served as an interesting introduction to the aptly applied combat of our clan and our proud future in battles.